In Memory

With the two year anniversary of my mothers death today, I wanted to take a moment to remember the woman I loved and was privileged to call 'mom'. Here are a few stories about her life, at least the part I remember of it.

Mom loved being a mother and wife. It was her greatest pleasure. The realization of a life long dream. She not only gave birth to me and my younger sister, but after my dad's death in 1984, she raised my half brother Jack, her step-son.

Jack came into her life when he was eight years old. He was my dad's youngest son from his first marriage. Mom was thrilled to have the chance to raise a child because she felt at the time that, even though she badly wanted her own children, it was not to be. Mom had had over 20 miscarriages before I was born.

When mom got pregnant with me, she at first didn't believe she was really pregnant, then when she finally realized she really was pregnant, she felt there was no way she would carry me to term or that I would be born alive. Then when I was born, I tried to prove all of her worries to be true. Just before she went fully under the anesthesia from the c-section to have me (remember this was 1979) she heard the doctor say that I wasn't breathing and they couldn't find a heartbeat. Thus my name, Joy. I was her miracle baby.

Seventeen months later my sister, Penny, was born. The doctors told her absolutely no more children if she wanted to live to raise the three she had. So mom followed her doctors wishes. At least that time she did. They would tell you it was the first and only time she ever did!

Mom faced being a single mom with determination and her formidable will. She went back to school in 1987. She received her associates from Dixie college in 1989. We moved to Cedar City, Utah that summer so that mom could work on her bachelors. She received that degree two years later from SUU.

Those four years were fraught wit many hardships as during that time we first learned of some of the medical problems my sister would face throughout her childhood. Then my brother suffered through one of the most traumatic events to rock our little Nevada community. We thought we were done with major medical stresses after moving to Cedar only for me to come down with my own major issues. Thankfully mine were not long lasting! I ended up with a complete stomach blockage and three ulcers at 9 years old. And just imagine, mine was the most minor for us!

With mom's completion of her bachelors degree, we moved to Logan, Utah so she could get her masters. This is where mom's health started it's downward spiral. Starting with her having a ruptured appendix, leading to an open incision in her stomach for more years than I can even recall for sure. I know she didn't get it closed till after my own daughter's birth! Mom eventually ended up in a wheelchair due to many physical ailments that assaulted her at the same time. But she did get her masters degree. She was determined and never let her problems deter her.

It was in 1990 that mom got to experience one of the greatest joys of her life. And one of the two main reasons that kept her going as long as she did. On December 4, 1990 her first grandchild was born. Mom was enamored from then on. And even after they moved to Spokane, Washington, mom kept in touch on an at least weekly basis. Pictures were a must for her!

With Celestra's birth in 1998, mom gained her last grandchild and a happier and more devoted grandmother you never saw. Mom lived for those granddaughters. They were her world. Mom loved that Cele was right here where she could spend so much time with her. The hours grandmother and granddaughter spent together are some of Cele's fondest memories.

Mom often said that those two girls were what kept her going and I believe it was really true because it wasn't until after both girls were old enough to not need their Grandma Nedra/Amma as much any more that she let go the mortal coil. The picture above was the last picture mom took with both of her grand kids after Brianne came for a two week visit the year before mom died.

Mom loved the fact that Celestra was (and is) so heavily involved in music. She made sure to attend every concert that she possibly could. She was there for every one of her Granddaughters major and minor milestones. The picture above is of the last concert of Cele's before mom's death. (I have no doubt that if she had been able to the same would be said for Brianne as well. Sadly many miles separated her from her first grandchild.)

Above all, including her advocacy fight, mom loved her family. We were the most important people in her life. We are her legacy and I hope we can carry her memory down through the generations so that she lives on in our hearts forever.